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so with this as with most other things going on in my life right now i have just stopped caring. Its great isnt it, how that works...i find it much to difficult to put in the effort for anything lately; be it school, work, friendships, anything...i find my self less and less inclined to care. Scary isnt it hey? I should be worried about it, or at least i say i should be because its not something that most people just do..find themselves slowly losing all interest in anything that used to hold some semblance of meaning for them. Instead I will sit here and allow myself to slip even further into the state of angsty, emo, pathetic cliche imitation happiness/obliviousness that is what my life has become of late. I really would sincerely hope that everyone will ignore my disgusting blathering, i hate how i write what i write - what it is that i say is ridiculous - while im writing it. I am almost inclined to delete this and give up on this silly attempt at trying to say something that might be meaningful, instead i will post it simply for the idiotic humor of it all...how stupid i sound...and that is how it always has, is and should be.
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Sunday, November 21st, 2004
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so we just finished moving everything into the new house!!:D I'm super excited!! THe hot tub is aaaaawsome and besides not being able to find any of my stuff its pretty cool.
no more time...i must continure unpacking^^
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Wednesday, November 17th, 2004
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just finishied making a cake!! A beautiful chocolate cake with chocolate ganashe on the top....mmmmmmm. I would eat it now except it is for tomorrow, i will bring it to shool, i told thomas i would make a cake for his birthday so, i did. It looks pretty good too. On another note i move in 3 days!!! Yeah for the hot tub! Its being put in at exactly 2 on saturday but it will be a day before we can use it. Still new house and hot tub. I'm super excited!
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Monday, November 8th, 2004
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so i was sicj all day and stayed home. slept in and got absolutly nothing done, which i guess isn't really such a bad thing but not fun. then i got to go to work, luckily it was a monday and incredably slow so i played with cranky birds all shift trying to make them friendly and talked with mandi. we made fun of people and it was fun. and that was my day
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Sunday, November 7th, 2004
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| Time: | 1:27 am. |
| Mood: |  high. |
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ummmmm. So its late at night and i was bored so i got high and now i'm sitting talking to max, well listening to him play this hilarious game cause i have nothing else to do. And its fucking hilarious adn cold because the windows open and i have a moving playing....ladykillers but i have a feeling i will have to watch it again tomorrow
thats all for right now cause i was only doing this to stay awake.
the end
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Friday, October 15th, 2004
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been a while, hasn't it. Hard to say whats happening, nothing i guess, alone, nobodyies awake or if they are they arn't around. The more i feel like sleeping the less I am able to make myself go to bed. You know how that is, I'm a little restless i think thats it. You know why? cause it would help if you did, i don't know it would be nice if i did. maybe i should go for a walk or something. But if i leave, the dag will bark, ah well, stuck in the room it is, school tomorrow, then weekend, going to melissa's, should be fun i think, usually is,
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Thursday, September 23rd, 2004
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| Time: | 1:22 am. |
| Mood: |  bored. |
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its late. I can't sleep and no one is awake. Why does melissa sleep during the school year? I have no one to talk to anymore. Maybe I will go count ceiling tiles or do some laundry, maybe I should wash my sheets or something. Of course I could always do my homework, but I don;t really feel like it. The cat is meowing at my window...should I let her out...NO! If I am stuck here so is she HA. I feel somewhat better now that I know someone shares my pain, or boredom or whatever you wanna call it.
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Tuesday, August 31st, 2004
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brittney was there too!!!! i didn't forget i swear!!! we went to whyte ave and we got kinder surprises at macks the night before...i knew she was there!
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Today is the last day of summer...but its ok cause i got my tongue pierced!!!!!! It was lots of fun, my dad took me and he looked like he wanted to cry the whole time. It didn't even hurt.Plus me and alex and melissa hung out last night and watched movies and it was really fun. Now i have to get ready to go to school and work and all that unfun shit. At least i'm in classes with britt and alex this year, yay for animation!!!
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Sunday, August 22nd, 2004
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i think i have relaxed enough to forget about that whole creepy mike thing. Which is good. so i am ok now, i have gotten over it and am no longer bothered by it, as long as i don't think about it for to long. :)
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first off.....HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEX!!!!!!!!!!I know that it was yesterday but i didn't have a chance to update cause the stupid computer was being slow and stupid. The farm is wonderful...besides being super cold. There is a new puppy his name is Deisel and he is the cutest thing ever!! I would post pictures cept i don't really have a camera which is a problem. My uncle Jack came over especially from winnipeg to bring sullivan the stinkey no faced bug eyed dog to see my brother. They used to be best friends (my brother and the dog) but havn't seen each other for years. It was so ada\orable, as soon as sully saw Jacob he started jumping up and down and his whole body was wiggling he was wagging his tail so hard. My sister is kinda grumpy, she had to be away from her boyfriend for 5 whole days!!! *GASP* WE think she might die!!! So of course she is cranky and touchy and generally in a shitty mood. But she and my mom are leaving today so i won't have to deal with her for the rest of my holidays!:)
Apparently she's been smoking though...what i don't know...cause Jill (the farmhand) was all "i smelled something like ciggarette smokw outside the barn the other day but it was wierd melling....i asked alex who was in the barn and she siad she didn't smell anything..." I was trying so hard not to laugh or say...it was ALEX!!! My grandpa was stumped as to who or what it could be. THen at breakfast this morning my mom came and asked me if i knew whether alex was smoking and i wasn't sure. It's funny cause my sister thinks she's being soooo sneaky smoking up in the barn or whatever but now my grandma, grandpa, and mom have all figured it out and know that my sister is lying to them. I didn't give her away in any way so my concionce is clear but it is still amusing.
I have already gotten over with all the things i wasn't looking forward to doing while i was here. I spent a day babysitting the 5 crazy cousins. And I am proud of myself cause i didn't hurt them, or myself and i didn't have a nervious breakdown...I SURVIVED!!:) I then spent the next day at the scary depressing grandparents house and I survived that too. So now the rest of my holiday can be doing just what i want and hanging out with my grandpa and all that good stuff. I'm pretty happy.
I have only gone horsebackrinding once cause it is so cold here. It got to below zero the other night and me and my mom were sleeping out in the trailor and the heat cut out. It was cold...really cold....funnny...but cold. I called alex to wish her happy birthday and i'm hoping it cheered her up cause she sounded kinda bummed out. Which sucks cause birthdays should be happy. that is all for now i am going to go milk cows or something, who knows.
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Monday, August 16th, 2004
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| Time: | 7:29 pm. |
| Mood: |  distressed. |
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i need to go and get reeeeealy drunk
but i can't, mike was the one who could get me alcohol. THis realy sucks. nobody has any idea how ridiculus this is. i am a really unhappy person right now
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Sunday, August 15th, 2004
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| Time: | 1:31 am. |
| Mood: |  hungry. |
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the cat just brought me a wonderful dead yet still twitching mouse it's sitting on my floor. I think i might have to dispose of it somehow.generally bored and pretty tired and at the moment more then a little grossed out by the dead mouse bleeding on my floor. perhaps it is time to go to bed.
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| Time: | 7:15 pm. |
| Mood: |  energetic. | | Music: | don't stop. |
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sheesh. Alex was supposed to come over today but now she is sick. :( hopefully she feels better but now i am bored and alone. I am being forced to spend quality "Family time" with my dad and siblings tomorrow. I guess a free lunch is nothing to complain about. We are buying a house!!!!! its in millwoods, but stil a house! AND we are getting a huge seven person hot tube! life is good. oh and sorry alex, i couldn't wait, i got my industrail today. It looks good or as sarah would say, "super sexy man". yeah so thats all.
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Thursday, August 5th, 2004
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Today was brilliant. It made up for the stupid things that i did the other day. I was at the gym and was on the bike, but i had to use the crappy bikes without holders for my discman cause all the good bikes were being used. Of course my discman falls off the bike and in the process of trying to catch it I hit it with my knee sending the whole thing crashing over the balcony and onto the floor below. Needless to say, i now need a new discman. I felt really stupid so i went to the mall before work and baught jewelry. Me and mellie saw the village. It was good...i wasn't scared at all...didn't even jump once.....haha. Then today, we went to the mall and I got the best dress for my dads wedding, the best part of all is that i got really nice super expensive shoes to go with it that i love!! That and i got my ear pierced again! good good day and now i get to go look at houses. i'm excited.
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| Time: | 10:22 pm. |
| Mood: |  happy. |
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kolondike days on tuesday!!!!!! So excited! Not only is it k-days but i have two days off in a row! its raining right now...hopefully it won't be on tuesday.
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| Time: | 7:48 pm. |
| Mood: |  tired. | | Music: | good-bye stranger. |
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i went to mellies. it was fun. we slept in the trailer outside and watced movies and all that goodstuff. now she is water skiing and alex is at home, mike is at k-days having fun and i am at home. my brother and his friend are sitting here in my room playing playstation and i am bored. bored and a little tired of having my room act as grand central station. i'm sure i'll get over it.work again tomorrow...and riding! I havn't been to riding in a while, it should be fun.
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Wednesday, July 21st, 2004
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my aunt had her baby!!!! his name, and yes it was a boy NOT a girl :( is jackson reed baerg. he is reaaaaallly cute, kinda squished cause they had to use sucktion, so his head looks like a funny long bycicle helmet, but really cute anyway. friday is my day off and i am going over to alex's to get my tattoo. hopefully. i'm excited
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| Time: | 9:15 pm. |
| Mood: |  restless. |
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yes, so by now alex has had her surgery, hopefully she is alright. i am still sitting here, now i'm at my moms. At least now i am alone and it is quite so i can be bored in peace. although, i am hungry and there isn't really any food which is unfortunate. tommorow i work again. its wierd i find myself actually looking forward to it. I never thought that i would work so much that when i finally got off i wouldn't know what to do with myself but it has happened. without work i am bored. crazy
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| Time: | 4:14 pm. |
| Mood: | bored. |
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bored. bored. really bored.I am sitting on my one day off and i am bored. I was supossed to go to saras and go stilt walking but i lost her phone number and so now i'm stuck at home watching my brother and his little friend play on my playstation. not that i am angry or anything. The day started out well, i got up, went to the gym, came home and painted for a bit, thats when i realized saras number was gone. stupid me. ah well i sun tanned, that was nice. Oh and alex is having her surgery today!!! Hopefully she won't be too sore. UNfortunatly for you alex you might be puffy and numb for a while, [pain killers, lots of pain killers will definatly help this]. HOpe you are felling alright and give me a call when you read this. yeah so now i'm going to maybe go eat..or something..well see. if anybody feels like saving me from this boredom...feel free....please...
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whyn's journal
cynical.
ditzy.
weird.
relieved.